LOUD SILENCE

It is 4am in the morning and I have been sitting up for more than half of the night thinking about my life. Half of my body on the bed and my feet on the mat on which my 5 children sleep. My children sleep like tomatoes in a bag: one on top of the other either the legs, hands, heads or even bodies. We live in a single room. We struggle with what to eat almost all year round. We barely eat three times daily. There is nothing I did not sell. I sold all my wedding jewelleries, animals, farming tools, clothes. I have basically sold every valuable thing I had in my possession, and I would do it over again for my children. I have been taking care of my husband, my children and myself all alone. I currently sell detergents at the compound gate and the little profits I make from there is what I use to pay for my children's school fees. I make sure that my children are not absent for school even for a day. My eldest daughter Nabie who is 12 years old is in the eighth grade. Such a smart you...

      Immediately she got home, she would take off her wig and throw it away as if it was the most burdening thing she wore, reached into her blouse or robe and took off her bra underneath which she had two pieces of rags to make it look like that of a fully grown adult’s. Then she would gently throw herself on the ground to rest. This was mostly about two or three hours before we wake up for school. This happened every day. And being a sensitive sleeper, I woke up at every possible noise just as much as I had nightmares. No matter how tired she was, Mati always found the right words to tell everyone. Every night from work, she found one tiny bit of a second to say ‘’Kemo, go back to sleep. You are too curious for your age.’’ Mati is about 2 years older than Mbatu, 3 years older than Ma Hawa and about 10 years older than me. I was told our mom got pregnant thrice before my birth but lost it due to severe beating and stress from Baba. I cannot imagine our family being ...